


I Never Stopped Loving You

by godgaypeen



Category: New Girl
Genre: F/M, and finally i'm posting this angst-riddled oneshot, anyway its sad, back in february, i binged the show and wrote this, i forgot to post this sorry, sadder than i remembered when i was writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 21:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19777198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godgaypeen/pseuds/godgaypeen
Summary: Nick Miller gets a vague text from ex-girlfriend Jessica Day to meet him at the bar.





	I Never Stopped Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> I was horribly late to watching New Girl, but here, have a little one-shot to bring tears to your eyes lol

**Meet me at the bar?**

Nick frowned at his phone, not quite sure what to make of the text message he had received from roommate-turned-lover-turned-ex, Jess. Sure, they were on okay terms now, but Nick wasn’t sure if the two of them could be alone together, much less in the bar, where there was alcohol, and they could get drunk, and-

“Focus, asswipe. You haven’t even given her a reply.” Nick chastised himself, hastily sending Jess a message before grabbing his maroon jacket from the coat rack on his way out of the door.

The walk to the bar where he worked was unsurprisingly unremarkable, considering the fact that he’s been walking to work there for at least three years now, so it’s not like there was anything new for him to see, just the same people and the same shops and conversations he never really bothered to listen in on. Tonight, however, was a little bit different; the air was chilly, and the people he passed by seemed… _cheery_. Sammy from the mini supermarket waved hello to him, and he witnessed a couple making out in the back alley of said supermarket. It made Nick miss what he had with Jess, so he shoved his cold hands into his jeans pockets and trudged on.

As soon as he reached the bar, he caught sight of Jess sitting alone on a stool, sipping something he guessed was a margarita. Nick shook his head and smiled, walking towards the woman he once l- the woman he once had romantic relations with, and greeted her with a tap on the shoulder.

“Hey.” Jess turned around, and her adorable blue eyes widened at the sight of him. “I got your text, what’s up?” Nick asked, holding up his phone as proof as he sat down next to her.

“Hey, Nick.” She looked a bit crestfallen, honestly, and Nick wondered if he should be worried. Actually, he was already concerned, tilting his head to the side with a small smile.

“Talk to me, Jess. I know there’s something on your mind.” He pressed on, noting how Jess scrunched up her nose a little. She often did that when she’s deciding on something, and she often looked cute when doing so. Tonight was no different.

The brunette let out a small sigh before speaking. “I just didn’t really want to be alone right now.” She fiddled with her margarita as she said so, and Nick immediately knew this was going to be a serious type of conversation, so he ordered some whiskey for himself, watching as the drink was poured and slid over towards him. He shot the bartender a quick wink before taking a sip of the liquid. “You and I both know how weird I get when I’m alone.”

“You want _me_ to be your companion? Me, lonely, mostly unemployed writer with no amount of happiness inside of him?” Nick joked a little, hoping to lighten the mood, but all he got out of Jess was a half-hearted smile. “What about CeCe? Or Schmidt? They seem to be a lot better at this than I am, considering the whole… _y’know_.”

Jess glared at him before taking a sip of her margarita. “Believe it or not, you’re a decent human being, and I enjoy your company.” She said truthfully, and Nick’s heart did a little flutter, and he hated it. _Stop it, heart, you’re being a bitch_ , Nick hissed internally. “Besides, I need to pick your writer brain; you’re good at painting a pretty picture about everything. Give me something to hope for.”

Nick scoffed, bringing his whiskey up to his lips to avoid his poorly-disguised surprise. “Well, you’re barking up the wrong tree here, I’m Mr Unhappy, and I plan on staying like that for a little bit longer.”

“C’mon, Nick, humour me for a little while. Please?” Jess batted her long, lovely eyelashes at him, and much to absolutely no one’s astonishment, Nick thawed a little bit, as he always had done when it came to Jess and her big blue eyes and her bubbly personality and her kiss- _Nick, you weakling_ , he once again reprimanded himself.

Nick nodded in surrender, the woman smiling at his agreement. “Okay, what it is? Are you having an existential crisis? I’m really good at that, I’ve been going through my mid-life crisis since I was 16.” This time, Jess laughed, and he felt his heart break a little bit more.

Jess shook her head no, her voice dropping in seriousness as she asked him, “Do you believe in ‘right person, wrong time’?” This threw Nick on a loop; he was never really a romantic, not until he met her and realized he wanted to do things for her, to show effort for something other than himself. Honestly, he never really gave a shit about himself, so anyone could see how much Jess meant to him. With a question like that, Nick was in danger of being a complete ass, so he avoided her gaze as he downed his glass.

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, c’mon, you know what I mean.” Jess looked squarely into his eyes, and he swore she could figure out he still had feelings for her. Sure, Nick was an expert at building walls around his heart, but Jess was always the one to bring a huge axe to break them down, each and every time they came back up. Having his feelings out there was tiring, and he hated that she knew every single part of him; the good, the bad, the ugly… He just didn’t get why she had to run away from what they had. It wasn’t perfect, of course, but it was _theirs_. The whole thing, the imperfect perfect way they fit together, it wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced. It made losing her twice as hard, considering how much of each other had they poured into this; it was hard to tell if pre-Jess was still around, somewhere around his deadbeat, post-Jess heart.

“I think it’s probably a real thing.” Nick offered, and when Jess cocked her head to the side, Nick realized a half-assed answer wasn’t going to cut it. “Sometimes, the universe throws us into the arms of the person we should be with, but the universe is a little bitch, so it makes sure everything else around them are in shambles too. With luck, they can push past the obstacles that they come across and come out on the other side, all perfect and amazing and unbreakable. But sometimes, those obstacles knock them down ‘till they can’t get up, and it causes a horrible strain in their relationship, until they realize they can’t do it together, not like that. So they grow as people, meeting others and not quite feeling the spark that once filled their hearts with flames as powerful as a thousand suns, but the universe felt bad for pushing them apart, so it brings them together and they get to be the better, stronger, wiser versions of themselves.” Nick smiled. “Look at Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. There was the whole Wrecking Ball fiasco, but now, they are okay, better than ever.”

Jess was quiet for a moment, leading Nick to believe he gave her an answer she didn’t want to hear. But then she smiled, just a small, half-smile that she does when she made her mind up about something, and quietly, she said “Do you think that’s what’s going on here? With us?”

Nick wanted to believe the words he was hearing, to scoop her into his arms and say yes, but he found it near impossible to do so. “You broke my heart, Jess. I’m still the same exact guy when you first moved in.”

Jess’ smile wilted quickly, and she was about to interject with a “But-“, yet Nick was already standing up to leave, signalling the bartender to put it on his tab. “Wait, Nick-“

He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. “I want to believe what you’re saying, Jess, I really do, but you _broke_ me. You made me a better man with you around, and then you tore me back down. I don’t think I can do that anymore.” With an apologetic glance, he hurried out, the woman following him.

Outside, it was colder than earlier, and Nick zipped his hoodie all the way up, his breath forming a cloud as he exhaled. “Nick, wait!” He heard Jess call out from behind him, and he sighed. They lived across the hall from each other in the same apartment, it’s not like he was going anywhere anyway.

Nick turned to face her, giving her a tired look. “Jess, you can’t do this to me anymore, okay? I can’t handle it. I don’t want to be the guy you meet right before you meet your future husband. I can’t be that guy for you.”

Jess nodded. “You’re right. You’re not that guy, and I understand. But I still have feelings for you, Nick. I know it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings or even acknowledge it, but damn it, Nick, it hurt me to know that I ever hurt you in any way. I thought I would never be someone who did that to the person she loved, but I did, and I hate it.” _Did she-?_ “I didn’t know what I had until I lost you.”

Nick inhaled deeply, and nodded. “Okay. Good talk. Thanks.”

Realizing she wasn’t going to get anything else out of him, Jess smiled defeatedly and began to walk in the direction of their apartment, her hand reaching upwards to wipe at her tears that were falling freely onto her rosy cheeks. Nick stood there in the cold, watching as she started to make her way away from him.

“Oh, fuck it.” Nick broke into a run and easily caught up with her, grabbing hold of her elbow and pulling her towards him, her nose colliding with his chest. Jess glanced at him in surprise, Nick going in for a soft kiss, one filled with familiarity and longing and the unknown and most importantly, love.

“I never stopped loving you, you know?” Nick whispered quietly once they broke off.

“I know.”


End file.
